can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
