Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
