it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
