READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
