That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Your dad touched me again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
