my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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