she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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