Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
