dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
