I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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