tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
