I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
