fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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