Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
