i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
