Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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