he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
