Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
