I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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