She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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