Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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