My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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