Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
