Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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