fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
