so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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