he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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