Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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