It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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