Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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