the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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