is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
