this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You made out with two different species that night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
