I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize