Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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