Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
