Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
