I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
