do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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