just tell him i said nine months
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
