i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
