I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
