at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
