New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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