he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
