Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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