Old men and throwing up are my life now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize