His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
