Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(682): View more from Texas

aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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(410): View more from Maryland

new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning

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(250): View more from British Columbia

well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.

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(406): View more from Montana

I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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(310): View more from California

I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire

(213): View more from California

A hand job? Are you 12?

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