That's when you crack a 10am beer
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
