Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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