My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
