Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
