Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
