why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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