i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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