I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize