Tell her she can't have a vagina
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
