You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
