I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Randomize
