Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize