we're chasing vodka with high fives
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
