i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
organizing the empties. That sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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