real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
