Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
