i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
