K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
