sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
